I have talked about writing woes many times before. I have various roadblocks and difficulties, but this one is something that happens often. My fear, dread, and hatred for my first drafts. The problem with this particular roadblock is that it doesn’t stop me from writing. I will still write and get a decent number of words out, but then will almost immediately go back and just delete those words. I hate my first drafts, in fact it’s beyond that, I loathe them.
I could not even hope to count up the amount of hours and words that I have wasted by simply trashing them not long after writing them. I cannot wrap my head around the idea that all writers struggle with first drafts. It simply does not compute. Surely people must naturally write better than my first drafts.
It’s not that I expect a first draft to be perfect, that is just not realistic. But I do expect it to be significantly better than what I often times produce at the first try.
This is something that I don’t know how to get over either. I see many writers that are successful (ones that I like) talk over and over about just getting the words out, knowing that first drafts are not only not perfect but down right bad, yet I still find myself giving up and trashing work over and over again.
I wonder where my career would be at this point if I never did this. If I had saved everything, finished all these first drafts, and then went back to them. Even this line of thought is not healthy though.
I need to not just get over this roadblock but completely destroy it. I need to move forward and let this go. I need to understand that it’s part of the process. I need to understand that it could even help me to become a better writer.
My fear of the first draft needs to become a thing of the past, or I will never stand a chance.