I can sadly already feel myself slipping, and we are just barely into the 3rd month of this year. After a number of years (too many) of having unhealthy habits (both physically and otherwise), I wanted to reset and do better. It’s been a slow process with some progress, not enough in my opinion, but some. Yet, I can already feel myself starting to slip, and it scares me. The issue of going from having no routine to suddenly having one is that it’s hard to get myself back into that mindset. It’s hard to compensate for years of neglect of my writing and streaming, to forcing myself to be more productive with both. It’s hard to go from hardly being active to trying to go to the gym more frequently.
Of course, it’s hard, I know this, and I don’t want to sound like I am complaining, it’s just my reality.
I don’t want to fall off course again; I need to do better not start, stop, start, stop. I am barely doing enough as is and can be doing so much more.
I can feel it creeping in though. I’ve already started to feel like I have hit a roadblock with my writing and doubting myself with streaming. I’ve already started to slowly pick back up unhealthy habits. It also didn’t help that I had a massive depression spike that got in the way of my productivity. I have spent two weeks going from simply feeling down and upset, to even going as far as struggling to get out of bed.
I am hoping the key to not getting off track again is recognizing when it’s happening early and starting to counter it then, but I still worry.
I especially worry when it comes to my writing. I only got one thing up last year and have been stalled on many major projects for far too long. I am reaching a point where I get so depressed about my lack of progress that it puts me in a loop.
Still, I hope that I can stick with the routine I set for myself, tweak it to make it better, and keep pushing forward. I’m slipping but haven’t fallen, and I don’t want to keep being my biggest challenge.