March was a bad month for me, one of the worst I have had in awhile if I am being honest. I was hit with a depression spike that got pretty bad. The last week of March I started to recover, but I still have a long road ahead of me. However, at this point, I want to get refocused and try not to dwell too much. I am making a big push to stop drinking for at least the foreseeable future. I have been overly self-medicating, and aside from it being bad for me mentally/emotionally, it has also been a huge roadblock in my getting healthier physically.
I have also signed up for a meal service (Blue Apron). Maybe it seems like too much to whine about but it gets hard planning all of Ben, and I’s meals every day every week. Taking three dinners off of my planning seemed like it would help me a lot. Aside from that, I think it will also help with being healthier, improving my cooking, cutting back on food waste, and hopefully saving money.
Other goals I have for this month are to improve how much I am working out and what I do during each workout. Adding strength workouts into my routine. I need to do a massive cutback on salt, as well as the calories I consume in beverages. As well as general eat better foods, fewer carbs, starches, and sugars, more vegan and vegetarian meals, etc.
I hope to make significant progress in April, but as I am coming off a rather hard month, I expect progress to not be perfect. I am also having major insomnia issues which were throwing me off last month so might become a bit of an issue this month. As long as I make decent steps to get back on the right path I will be pleased, going beyond that is, of course, the goal, but I won’t beat myself up if I don’t get too far.
Breakfast: Two eggs over easy and a tortilla
Dinner: Salmon in a lemon, honey, thyme sauce. Wild rice, roasted Brussel sprouts, milk
Snacks: Coffee, half a banana, cranberry and orange juice mix, toast and slice of cheese
Indulgences: Redbull, a few Cheetos, sunflower seeds
Summary: It’s hard to say how good or bad I think today was. My messed up sleep schedule got to me, and so I ended up sleeping at odd times (hence missing lunch). This also meant I snacked a lot throughout the day, however. I did manage to have some degree of control over what I snacked on, but it was still odd. I will call it neutral? Better than a lot of days in the past but not good.
Today was a bit of a bad day. I wasn’t too bad food wise, but there was some snacking. Mostly it was just a rough one as my lack of being able to sleep has really started to kick my ass.
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs, hashbrown, milk
Lunch: Smoothie: fruit, power greens, greek yogurt
Dinner: Blue Apron: Cherry-Glazed Chicken with garlic mashed potatoes and braised collard greens
Snacks: Almonds, orange juice and cranberry juice mix
Summary: My sleep schedule is still a bit off but slowly adjusting. I am hoping my body can learn to compensate. I am realizing how much I was self-medicating my insomnia was drinking. However, it’s not like that was truly helping me. I also had every intention of going to the gym today, but I am still so drained from not sleeping well. I am hoping if I keep getting a little more sleep every night I will slowly get my energy back. The redbull thing is still bad, but I am trying to break that, it’s hard with not sleeping much though. Cutting a major source of caffeine when you are running on empty is rough, I just need to do it.
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs, hashbrown, milk, coffee
Lunch: Sandwich, some chips
Dinner: Blue Apron: Seared Salmon and Lemon Labneh with freekeh, zucchini, and dates (so good)
Indulgences: Redbull, small pickles (I was uncertain if I should do snack or indulgences they are low in calories but high in sodium)
Workout: 2.24 on elliptical in 30 mins
Summary: Today’s work out was bad. I have felt a little off or wrong after a workout before, but after today I felt horrid. I could feel it building while I was working out, but I kept pushing myself, and I think it was a huge mistake. I am going to blame it on my sleep schedule still being off and the fact that I am starting my cycle soon. It was a good lesson though. I do believe in pushing yourself when you are working out, but I got clear signs I needed to stop, ignored them, and paid for it. I will know better in the future. I also did some unlisted excess snacking during the night… I ate my feelings a bit. I have been super down about not being able to return to stream because of our modem going and it caught up to me rather depressingly last night.
Breakfast: None was asleep
Lunch: Half sandwich and chips
Dinner: Tacos (shouldn’t have gotten them but things happen)
Indulgences: Redbull (I know) and pickles
Summary: I think the lack of sleep finally caught up with me. At some point, I turned off my alarm (I have no memory of this) and massively overslept. It took me awhile to get out of the resulting fog but I now feel more rested than I have in a long time (yet still a bit tired lol). After yesterday I decided to take the day off from the gym but did get out into the yard and did a decent amount of yard work. Not exactly a workout but something physically tough and get moving. Yes, I am giving myself a break but at least I didn’t say it was a legit workout.
Today ended up being a rather bad day. We are having net issues, and it caught up with me, and I would rather not talk about it. Still, I wanted to get back on track and actually start posting this again. Not the best week but it’s progress.
*Edited to add photos I completely forgot when I first posted this