I had my doubts about getting married. It wasn’t doubts about marrying Ben but about the concept in general. Every time I would start to plan or think about it I would panic and back off, thinking it was something I could never do. Ben was patient, never pressured me, and let me work through it on my own, in my own way, in my own time. One day I finally decided we should do it and just a few days later we did. There was very little in the way of planning or fanfare, even the little we had I had to be talked into. I knew it was the only way I could do it, the only way I wouldn’t panic and shut the whole thing down.
Ben never complained, never implied he needed anything more, never even told me I had to do that much.
He understands so much about me.
Five years of being married and almost ten years of being in a relationship, and I honestly believe I am with one of the best people in the world. He is patient with me, kind to me, supportive of me, believes in me, encourages me, and loves me. He is not afraid to tell me when I am doing something wrong, but unwilling to allow me to be too hard on myself. He has stood by me as I made mistakes, and let me grow into a better person, and continues to support me as my growth continues.
Our road has not been perfect, and I am sure there are many more obstacles that we will face, but it’s a road that I would never want to travel with anybody else.
Five years ago I wasn’t sure I could get married, that I could move past my hang-ups, but every day since then I have been so happy that I did.
Ben, I love you, I thank you, and no matter how I try I will never be able to express how much you mean to me. I want to always be better for you, for us, and want to continue to face our hardships and have fun with you.