Every once in a while I will get into a mood and start watching (and rewatching) a lot of Project Runway. I have an odd history with fashion. It’s not something I have ever loved, but I appreciate and like it. I like watching the process (with shows), and I love following fashionable people on social media and seeing how they create looks.

I am not sure why it’s something I never liked much myself. If I were to analyze it, there are many reasons. Growing up in small rural towns as I did, “fashion” was pretty limited and I didn’t like it much. I became a top and T-shirt girl fairly quickly. There is also a bit of laziness on my part, I like being simple and comfortable. Lastly, as I gained weight and started disliking my body, it became hard for me to have any desire to really take time with clothing.

To be clear, I am not saying that you must be thin to be fashionable. Many of the above-mentioned people I follow on social media are bigger people. I am saying that I didn’t (don’t) feel comfortable with myself and that makes it hard for me to want to shop for outfits and put together looks and share it.

I have briefly mentioned that I believe that taking time to look and feel good about yourself in “shallow” aspects can really help to make you feel better on a deeper level. It’s something I cycle around to every once in a while, but not something I’ve exactly committed to fixing.

I’d like to work on it.

I will never be the type to be super into fashion and love it. But I do think I could put more effort into what I wear, and how I wear it. I do believe again that if I felt better about how I look that I would feel better about myself. It’s not a cure for anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, but then I don’t think there is a “cure” I think it’s a series of things working together to help, and this could be one.

It’s something I thought about today and would like to keep in mind and work on. I don’t expect overnight that I will suddenly become more fashionable, but it’s a thing I can work towards and spend a little more time on. Same with hair and makeup.

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