Numb

This is going to be a struggle for me to get out… I think for a lot of people there is an assumption that depression is sadness. Of course, sadness is part of depression, I want no one to think that I am denying that. However, my low points are not always sad points. There…

Plants and Drama

So not too long ago I was babysitting my mother’s dogs, and one of them went on a bit of a warpath. He has a thing about plants, and in a just a short amount of time he managed to almost completely destroy mine. He dug a lot out, broke pots, spilled soil everywhere (wasting…

Drowning Again

I’ve written, tweeted, etc before about feeling like I am drowning and I am back there. This whole move has massively damaged my motivation, schedule, and routine. I am still incredibly grateful. We are in a nicer place (overall), in a nicer neighborhood, spending less money, and just a down right better situation. However when…

Support

I am not sure if I will share this after writing it out as it delves into some fairly private matters. Many years ago after my suicide attempt, I was diagnosed manic-depressive with extreme depressive tendencies (basically I have depression on top of bi-polar in the easiest to understand sense). Years later my anxiety was…

Discouraged

I wrote a short blog post about how discouraged I’ve been lately. It was self indulgent and mostly about how I felt I was barely holding my grip from slipping into another dark spell. It was true, but I realized it was also unhelpful. I am discouraged. I am not writing as much or as…

Little Steps that I Deserve to Celebrate

I often times find myself so focused on what I haven’t done, while completely ignoring the improvements I am making. Progress takes time, I am not able to change my life as easy as flipping a switch. I would like to take this time to highlight things I simply don’t pat myself on the back…

Dark Place

I’ve been going to dark places more often lately. Some of it is my fault, I dwell, allow my depression and anxiety to overwhelm me. Some is just the nature of the beast. I’ve felt lost, like I am losing most of the things I have a connection to. Struggling with my writing despite my…

The Importance of Proper Diagnosis

As with all of my mental health posts I want to preface this with, I am not a mental health professional. My mental health posts are based on my own personal experience. I am happy to share that experience and I hope it helps people. However no blog is a replacement for real work with…

Expressing My Needs

One of the biggest things I have always struggled with in terms of mental health is not asking for/stating what I need. I, like all human beings, can be selfish, but I don’t like to. I am easily prone to guilt and pressure. The end result is I rarely am honest about what I need…

Dead Brain Days

I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this, but lately I’ve been getting a lot of what I term “dead brain days”. I find it impossible to write because I lack inspiration or motivation. I find little enjoyment in things that I normally like. It’s hard for me to talk to people because I…